Love me, hate me but spare me your indifference.

Happy may be have been me when a month ago I was hanging out with my past life and my friends. Until this past life decided to get mad at yours truly and suddenly I’m a freaking bad girl with psycho tendencies.

Since The Past Life decided to get a girlfriend in Manila – who, by the way works at some so-so bar  in Greenbelt thinking she’s a bartender when, in fact, she’s a cashier – the girlfriend checked his Past Life and decided to murk through my photos in Friendster. Freaked out, she ordered him to make me delete one photo:

– Which made me curl my lips in disdain with a who-is-she-to-order-ME?!-Me!?-Of-all-people-to-take orders-from!-HER look.

Because of him, I took it out. I told him, “We’ll make new ones next week!”
He went, text me.
I did. I got an, Please-don’t-text-anymore-papunta-na-kami-ng-Manila reply.
Present girlfriend, is that you?
She was in CDO. In my hometown. Eating lunch at our restaurant. How dare she.

“So wala nalang kwenta your last texts?”
….
“Because you have a girlfriend now…”
….
“Hello?”
….

If she is hotter, sexier, smarter, richer – I will do the indifference part. I have the ego of a man plus the balls to show for it. For now, I’m singing UGLY GIRL.

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Last Post on Exes [promise]

Whoever said the world is small must be thinking of Banilad Town Center.

My teammates and I were out for pizza and smoking outside Yellow Cab Thursday night when I saw Eman, my friend Jill’s ex-boyfriend. They had a bad breakup [note: understatement] so I spared him the awkwardness of running into me by hurriedly putting off my cigarette and was about to run inside the restaurant when,

E: “Tin!”

Oh, shit. Xet. Siyet.

T: “Oh, hhhii.” I said after turning around and he was suddenly infrannnamee!

E:“Musta? Heard from Jill lately?” That please-tell-me-more-I’ll-buy-you-coffee look. Pained. Iskeri.

I shook my head. “No, sorry. I h-have to go.”

*beso*

My worst fears came to fruition: seeing friend’s exes and getting all awkward that bordered on panicky. There is always that hide and seek challenge where someone attempts to steer clear of the other and still end bumping each other. The hitch was not knowing what to react and not knowing what to say because you’d end up thinking you could just have had shut your mouth. You sometimes cannot even think of a suitable topic to talk about because your friend might be the only thing you both have in common. Whenever I see my friends’ exes all the time, none of them ever walked away and not ask me how they were. I guess that means I’m the one playing the hiding game. [Yes, the Babyface and the What If song echoing] Come on, these guys were great. Cute. Fun. Smart and very nice. They could have ended up together. But because… tsk tsk. These exes should be shipped to another island where they all co-habit together and not bother the has beens anymore.

That same night at BTC, as if it couldn’t get any worse, I saw D’s friend Jan, the huge football player who also helped with my ‘K’. He saw me and played my hiding game. *Snicker*.

So my turn to go, “Jan!”

…and his turn to smile sheepishly and say, “Hey.”

T: “Who’re you with?”

J: “Um, D.”

Xet. Wrong question. Bad answer.

T: “Okay, see you around.”

[Not singing Reunited anytime soon.. haha] Nothing is going to forklift anyone out of that situation. And there’s this thing about my exes’ friends that I’d love to keep being friends with. Because we were so close we didn’t find the need to invite my exboyfriend whenever we hung out. Can we keep those friends?

Your exes, your friends’ exes, your exes’ friends. Ismol world.

[not singing anymore.. ]

Oh wait. I take that back. Ship all my boyfriend’s exes to another planet. Just them :evilgrin: I got this from Helga on Ex-girlfriends. Building Planet X soon.

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WHY THERE ARE EX-BOYFRIENDS

Maybe… just maybe.. their boyfriends right now happen to have been a boyfriend of mine from long past. It is not a coincidence if he prolly did things that I can attest to him doing it wrong before but after being corrected they did it right this time with their new girlfriends. I cannot vouch for the other things that he must have done right but if he used to suck at that but now he is already making women scream, hmm.. maybe.. just maybe i can take credit for that hahaha.

I have had only hmm.. 3 ex-boyfriends that I can well account for because the rest don’t sum up to what I call a relationship. But then seeing that nobody is perfect, there is no way that I am going to say that I have been the perfect girlfriend either. Mistakes, arguments, cheating, threats, blackmails – they all GO with the relationship and I can’t necessarily say that its all been rainbows and hearts for the two of us.

My previous relationships have been all foiled with I have no idea. Of course there are no fingers that are going to be pointed here because both of you are in the relationship anyway. Its just amazing that after everything that you’ve gone through, you will still end up hating each other or no longer being together.

You have already exchanged everything from saliva to i love yous. You have already seen each other’s faults, weaknesses, gaps between the legs, horrifying farting moments, embarrassing snot-coming-out-from-nose incidents, hell, you’ve even videotaped yourselves while having sex!

It is just so awkward to see that same person you’ve had been with walking around the mall yet since you are no longer together you don’t know whether you are going to say hi or just plainly ignore the fact that he is holding hands with his new girlfriend right now. What must he have been thinking then? What he thinking how embarrassing it is to see you with clothes on but no muscle nor vein of his has been stimulated? I broke up with an ex and if he sees me while he is with his new girlfriend, of course, he must have been too happy to just publicly display his affection towards her. He could just have said, “Hey, bitch! Look at what you are missing!” and get over with it.

But I don’t feel that way because what I am missing is something that I won’t be having if I am with him.

For ex-boyfriends, of course your ex-girlfriends are sad to let you go. We hated the fact that we both have to go thru the pain of letting someone go whom we have indeed thought of sharing a life together in the future and even traded baby names with. We (yes, me, too) did love you and yes, we did share everything in our lives together but its not just gonna happen – us feeling sorry for ourselves for letting you go because the reason why we we ended the relationship in the first place is because the relationship is no longer going to happen. It’s either the feeling is gone or that we have stopped trying to let it work because we no longer have the ENTHUSIASM, the ENERGY, the LOVE and the CHUTZPAH that goes along with loving to DO IT.

HARSH?

Sorry. There is no other way to soften the blow.

Why there are ex-boyfriends is because you need to have someone to remind you of what went wrong in your relationship to make it right this time with your new relationship. They actually are one of the best things that happened in our lives.

I apologize for having a thing about ex-boyfriends. I can’t get over them also.

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