Last Sunday when my beau was invited to his close friend’s baby’s christening, it was just natural that he would tag me along. (Hello, party!) Unfortunately, his friend is also friends with the ex. Now let’s call the ex Padfoot (you’ll understand why). Padfoot went to the friend who was having the baptismal party and said that it might not be a good idea to bring me along because she is still not over him blah blah and if I were coming she wouldn’t go at all and the people who are going to the party, too, might feel sorry for her blah blah and she is going to be embarrassed blah blah.

For the love of the Lord in Christ, this is not her party. She is not the host and she will never be one. My text message to her that day didn’t merit a reply but I’m not expecting any either because number one, the text message is in English and number two, I said everything that I needed to say: This is not your party and it is unfair of you to make **** choose between you and my boyfriend. How could you think of yourself when clearly this is all about the baby and not you.

Maybe she thinks she has enough star quality to hoard sympathy from the people. Sweetheart, they don’t care. My friend who was one of the godfathers at that party even asked, “Who is she?” He laughed after he found out who you were. See? You don’t stamp your mark on anyone’s brain registry.

On the day of the baptismal, Padfoot showed up in a paisley boyfriend shirt in polyester with padded shoulders (this is the padfoot part), black belt and black peep toes. The outfit would be the first thing to discern her taste in fashion and I do not want to elaborate anymore. Padfoot was all smiles and poker faced and willingly went out with us when the group went drinking at some local bar after.

The people who were with us are my boyfriend’s friends. Surprisingly, they have been very civil about the entire setup. I did notice that whenever Padfoot realizes she is going to be seated across me, it doesn’t give her that much time to immediately switch places. Comfortable, are we?

Hey, I didn’t ask you to come and sit through the entire agonizing ordeal of being with me so what is this that I hear about you crying and bawling that my boyfriend has no consideration bringing me along to the party? Was it even YOUR party to begin with? I didn’t know my boyfriend also is inclined to ask permission.

Why I always ran into hateful exes in my 10 years of being in different relationships and the fact that they are not just exes but hateful exes baffle me. It seems like if you have a boyfriend, his ex is already part of the package and believe me, such unsolicited appendage is too much to handle. It would seem difficult to stomach the idea that they once shared saliva and i-love-you-i-cant-live-without-yous.

Show me a bimbo in super tight jeans and overstuffed bra pads and I wouldn’t waste an insecure vein but if my boyfriend did so much as glance in his ex-girlfriend’s direction, I’m done for. I know I hardly possess any lack of self esteem in my blood but whenever the subject of exes come up I think I need my blood pressure checked.

So Padfoot, I’m insecure, too. Like you, I wish me dead for the love of God and hope that lightning may strike me anytime soon. Like you, I was watching out for my boyfriend if he was looking at your direction and everytime he does tugs my heart. So stop with this showbiz drama and let’s all get a life, shall we?

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