September 2006.
Cat and I were at Mactan International Airport to go get Janice. I knew you were nearby. Your presence’s encroaching all over the place is soo great I could almost feel your leg brushing against mine whenever you’re lying beside me.
Yet you are so far.
You said that right after the new bridge, the first intersection going left is where your apartment is. That’s like five minutes away from Save More… from Waterfront… from the Airport itself. But I can hardly reach you.
D, I MISS YOU. I miss calling you D to cut your name short. I miss you calling me babe and how my heart flutters every time you say it. I miss how my heart flutters whenever it has anything to do with you.
I miss you coming over the house when everybody else is asleep and when they awake they just give me knowing smiles. I miss your presence filling up my entire room and I can’t move around a lot because your tall body is splayed all over. I miss the sneaky way you hog all my pillows without me realizing I only have one bolster under my head. I miss the loud snores that made Bless freak out one time. I miss the look of exasperation on your face whenever I teased you. I’m just glad I get to miss your hand whenever you swat me with it. I miss waking up and kissing you while you’re asleep and when I go back to bed you’re hand would suddenly find its way around my waist. I miss you cuddling behind me and pulling me close even if its 360 degrees outside.
I miss the text messages until 5am. I hate that everytime I leave the office the lobby reminds me of those times I hang out there just to convince the guard to give me my phone so that I could text you. I miss the guard saying, “Cellphone, ma’am?”
I miss teasing you on your pagka-vain because whenever I come over your house you’d still put on gel. I miss waiting for you to get ready for so long it makes me wonder .. . I miss your mom and her loquaciousness that often annoys you because she won’t leave us alone. I miss your brother who is generous enough to give me my favorite mp3 because you told him i love it. I miss your house. I miss our little corner in the patio where its dark and you’re so convinced no one is going to see us. I miss your over the top excuses just to make me come over: I miss seeing you in your chef’s uniform because you look so cute in blue trousers and a pseudo-trenchcoat. I miss seeing you out of it.
I miss you teasing me on my music preference but when Breathe’s How Can I Fall played you grabbed my hand, pretended it was a microphone and sang with all your heart.
I miss us coming up with all kinds of plans but never ever had any opportunity to fulfill them. I miss your cakes, your childish excitement whenever you concoct something, your eagerness in hearing out my tastebud’s opinion and your complete disappointment when I don’t exaggerate how good it tastes.
I miss you complaining that I go out a lot and telling me that the bars will still be open the next night when I get home at 6am. I miss our weekends together. I miss that you can’t last a weekend without alcohol. I miss telling you that Red Horse, Tanduay and SMB are not the only beverage listed in the world. I miss you telling me that Fundador also is part of the list. I miss getting happy after 3 shots and you’d just let me sleep in your arms while you finish the entire tagay. I miss those tattooed arms that suffocate me so much when its around me. I miss being suffocated.
I miss your modesty, your penchant for explaining things even a 2 year old can understand and your simplicity. I hate that I can’t be simple enough for you.
I miss you so much. I really miss you. I really, really miss all of you.
I’m missing so much just when we’re only like this for seven months. How much more a year.
Even if I cannot take back whatever we have, you will forever be that someone special that I cannot have. The boy every girl claims to have wanted but never had..
Watch out Cebu. Flood.
