how to loosen up my buttons

Indecent proposals right now have a way of making you think twice of ever thinking it was one in the first place. It could be vague like the one that I had some night ago. It came from a someone who was married, his family is back home but he is currently working in Cebu. He wanted to hang out. Hang out could mean, going to some bar, get drunk, play pool, watch a movie — what?? He said, watch home movies. Oh, stay at home then. If the home theater is inside my room, that must have meant locking ourselves up in my room and watch gasp wholesome movies?

I had to turn him down because one, he is married. Two, i don’t know what to do when we are already there. I had this crush on him but the thought of me and him never crossed my mind at all. I hardly get scared of men but this one is different. Lastly, he is married.

He was bummed with my alibi (I have work.. sorry, blah.. blah..). He went, Its your call. You are the tempting event.

Hmmm… interesting. Then the clincher was when he went, “See you soon. Hope not too soon.” —and that means?

Second that I had was a, “Can you come here? I’ll pay for your airfare and hotel.” Honey, the coming part I will but you paying for that isn’t just gonna happen.

Another indecent proposal I had was from a guy who worked at another callcenter here in Cebu who was anything but subtle. “Are you horny?”, “When was the last time you’ve had sex?”, “Do you want to hook up now?”

Could he be more transparent? Pervert.

The third one warrants an applause because it is the subtlest of the subtlest. “I am very dry lately. I cannot imagine I haven’t had sex for several weeks now. I just wish someone is willing to accommodate.”

Hmmm… that would have been my cue to say, “Oh, I’m the willing party” but I didn’t because it came from beau (no more MY) and I’m tired of indulging him.

So, anyway, some men just don’t know how to tickle a woman’s penchant to indulge your ‘proposals’. The first one freaked me out because it sounded so wholesome and I am not even sure what the hell I am going to be up for . Watching home movies inside a girl’s room is so highschool and I feel like if I am going to be kissing him his mom would walk in on us while his hand was still inching for my chest. The second one was so arrogant. Nobody must have told him he is a walking hard-on. The third one was shy from being too obvious as if he was expecting that anytime I’d jump into his whims.

Oh. Very well-splayed. Tsk. Tsk. These men shouldn’t be given cellphones—or not allowed to be within reach of a keypad because they suck from giving indecent proposals. Pun intended.

So far, I can only count several sexual innuendos that had really piqued my libido. Lol. Men sometimes can reply to forwarded text messages with really witty quips such as one time I spammed that I was selling puppies with their ‘sex’ by request. One replied, “How much is sex with the one selling it?” I texted back, “priceless.”

Or men could also hint around that maybe a good play in the hay will be likely provided he has something for me. Men are so bent on their needs that they didn’t realize women need to come too. I have yet to read, hear, or witness an innuendo that’ll loosen up my buttons.

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SOCIOPOLIGLOBAL

Jul 27, 2006

Kristine Roa

3 Comments

the sona to end all sonas

The State of The Nation Address (SONA) which bore a formidable atmosphere in the Philippines island was already being presented to the public (pubis) and the nation can stop holding their bated breath now. What has been elicited so far? I’ve seen Gloria up on stage (elevated, of course) but it is so hard to listen and watch her face scrunch up and her teeth slide against her lips at the same time so I had to borrow excerpts of her SONA from March, a teammate and dissected it and of course, tried to find fault in the text which every known writer is probably expected to do.

I came up with several lines. SHE SAID:

Gaya ng nakikita sa graph na ito, dahil sa ating reporma sa ekonomiya, we now have the funds to address social inequity and economic disparity. Too many … masyadong marami, ang mamamayang nagugutom. Hindi ako hihinto hanggang magtagumpay ang ating laban sa kahirapan.

We now have the funds to stamp out terrorism and lawless violence.

May pondo na tayo para labanan ang katiwalian.

Our reforms have earned us P1 billion from the U.S. Millennium Challenge Account for more investigators, prosecutors, and new technology to fight corruption. We are matching this with another billion from our fiscal savings.

Meanwhile, now we can fund the Medium Term Public Investment Program.Sumusulong na ang ating plano na may tatlong yugto. Una, ang makaahon sa mga dekada ng utang at kapos ng pondo. Nagawa na natin ito. Ikalawang yugto, ang pagbabalik sa taumbayan ang mas malaking kita ng pamahalaan: upang makapagpundar ng kalinga sa kalusugan, edukasyon at trabaho na kailangang-kailangan ng mamamayan.

**** Wow, funds. I love hearing about funds but I keep hearing about them all the time. Has anyone seen those funds lately? There will always be a hungry mouth no matter how hard She tried. How sad. But I would love a huge portion of those funds go to EDUCATION.

We thank China for agreeing to fund these housing needs. Huwaran ng ating programang pabahay para sa mahihirap ang mga proyekto ng Iglesia ni Kristo at Gawad Kalinga.

**** Our chinky-eyed neighbors are helping out, very encouraging. Wen Jiabao, I love you, muah. My dad funds and helps out in Gawad Kalinga. It is taking up most of his time and I appreciate Gloria for bringing it up. I’m pretty sure my dad is gloating right now as if he is responsible for it.

Mindanao is our priority for agribusiness investments in the south. Mindanao is mostly fertile and largely typhoon-free, exporting coconut products and high value crops, and from its waters come 40% of the country’s fish catch. Our investment priorities mirror those for North Luzon, and more because Mindanao has the poorest regions and poorest provinces and because we have to spend on a logistics system linking it to the north.

*** MINDANAO and agribusiness has always been synonymous to each other and linking Mindanao’s progress to the north might develop the region more. Bukidnon, Tagoloan, Iligan, we’re nearly there.

On top of peace and investment, progress also demands good governance. I congratulate Donkoy Emano for the drop in reports of corruption for public contracts in Cagayan de Oro from 65% of firms last year to 38 this year. Also Rudy Duterte and the other leaders of Metro Davao led by Majority Leader Boy Nograles for a similar drop, 57% last year to 49 now. Things are coming together for Mindanao, a prelude to their readiness for eventual federalism.

*** Our very own Dongkoy Emano whose face is plastered in Macapagal Plaza for harboring entrepreneurship brought about by the Night Cafe is quite chummy with our president. He deserves some credit of this SONA.

I had coffee with some call center agents last Labor Day. Lyn, a new college graduate, told me, “Now I don’t have to leave the country in order for me to help my family. Salamat po.” I was so touched, Lyn by your comments. With these structural reforms, we not only found jobs, but kept families intact. Thank God, I thought, or someone might also try to impeach me for violating Article 15 of the Constitution on the solidarity of the family as the foundation of the nation.

*** Thank you to investors who propagate and put up outsourced centers in the the entire island and gave jobs to newly graduates who are very much shocked with the substantial amount written in their payslips it is enough to fend for their extravagant lifestyles.

For those who want to pick up old fights, we’re game but what a waste of time. Why not join hands instead? Join hands in the biggest challenge of all, where we all win or we all lose: the battle for the survival and progress of our one and only country.

*** She will forever be a public figure prone to ridicule and mockery.. There are people who will be forever against her or with her. She is right when she said that instead of picking on her faults, why not merge and join hands and combat a battle that will make winners of us all. She has 3 more years to go. Those three years will be spent on doing the I WILLs she has been saying and I WILL START. I love the WE WILL but I love more the WE HAVE STARTED. Its best to hear things that we know are already under way than things still written in her daily planner where who knows might end up being ~~strikethrough-ed.~~

Her words are strong, very convincing. When she says, It is ready…it meant that things are looking up. Hopefully, our noses and our heads are still tilted come Year 2009.