how to loosen up my buttons

Indecent proposals right now have a way of making you think twice of ever thinking it was one in the first place. It could be vague like the one that I had some night ago. It came from a someone who was married, his family is back home but he is currently working in Cebu. He wanted to hang out. Hang out could mean, going to some bar, get drunk, play pool, watch a movie — what?? He said, watch home movies. Oh, stay at home then. If the home theater is inside my room, that must have meant locking ourselves up in my room and watch gasp wholesome movies?

I had to turn him down because one, he is married. Two, i don’t know what to do when we are already there. I had this crush on him but the thought of me and him never crossed my mind at all. I hardly get scared of men but this one is different. Lastly, he is married.

He was bummed with my alibi (I have work.. sorry, blah.. blah..). He went, Its your call. You are the tempting event.

Hmmm… interesting. Then the clincher was when he went, “See you soon. Hope not too soon.” —and that means?

Second that I had was a, “Can you come here? I’ll pay for your airfare and hotel.” Honey, the coming part I will but you paying for that isn’t just gonna happen.

Another indecent proposal I had was from a guy who worked at another callcenter here in Cebu who was anything but subtle. “Are you horny?”, “When was the last time you’ve had sex?”, “Do you want to hook up now?”

Could he be more transparent? Pervert.

The third one warrants an applause because it is the subtlest of the subtlest. “I am very dry lately. I cannot imagine I haven’t had sex for several weeks now. I just wish someone is willing to accommodate.”

Hmmm… that would have been my cue to say, “Oh, I’m the willing party” but I didn’t because it came from beau (no more MY) and I’m tired of indulging him.

So, anyway, some men just don’t know how to tickle a woman’s penchant to indulge your ‘proposals’. The first one freaked me out because it sounded so wholesome and I am not even sure what the hell I am going to be up for . Watching home movies inside a girl’s room is so highschool and I feel like if I am going to be kissing him his mom would walk in on us while his hand was still inching for my chest. The second one was so arrogant. Nobody must have told him he is a walking hard-on. The third one was shy from being too obvious as if he was expecting that anytime I’d jump into his whims.

Oh. Very well-splayed. Tsk. Tsk. These men shouldn’t be given cellphones—or not allowed to be within reach of a keypad because they suck from giving indecent proposals. Pun intended.

So far, I can only count several sexual innuendos that had really piqued my libido. Lol. Men sometimes can reply to forwarded text messages with really witty quips such as one time I spammed that I was selling puppies with their ‘sex’ by request. One replied, “How much is sex with the one selling it?” I texted back, “priceless.”

Or men could also hint around that maybe a good play in the hay will be likely provided he has something for me. Men are so bent on their needs that they didn’t realize women need to come too. I have yet to read, hear, or witness an innuendo that’ll loosen up my buttons.

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