I dont want to talk anymore about my beau. iT just pisses me off that we have been like this for five months now and the only progress that we have is that he constantly calls me babe and that this time he gets upset if i dont text him. WTF? i am tired of playing what ever it is that he is playing. I am scared of caring too much. He just told me that if ever anyone of us finds someone else then we’d have to tell the other — and what happens after that? We should stop seeing each other then? He didn’t say though. I don’t want to ask him a lot of questions and go thru all that shit.
Its drama heavy enough for Laguna Beach.
I should have reminded him that he used to tell me its not ok if i’m going to be seeing other men. What happened to that ban also? It got lifted? Haha. Since when? He’s like, “Tell me if you get tired of me. I’m ok with it.” Huh? Where did he get that idea? I am soo close to professing my undying, unselfish and stupid love to him and he tells me that? He probably lost it .. in Mactan.
That got me to thinking though, if that happened to either of us, then that’s probably it. There never was any commitment in the first place to break. There never was a relationship in the first place to work on.
If any of us — oh, if he finds someone else (because Its likely that i will because i am head over heels ) then he’ll just probably stop seeing me. Cause he’s like, “Tell me if you find someone else because we’ll just have to stop seeing each other then.”
Is that a threat? Is that something that he says because he doesn’t want that to happen?
Or what is something that he said because he was afraid of that happening and that the only thing that he could get out of feeling anything was to tell me that he;d no longer see me.
I could have asked him after he said to tell each other if we found someone else that what’s going to happen after. Will we stop seeing each other? We’re not together so it must have been okay to still see each other even if we’re seeing other people too. The only time he made this exclusive was when he gave me an ultimatum to not see guys because its BAWAL. HUH? Now he’s telling me to tell him if I find someone else? This is making me crazy. I should stop this while i am still SANE. Ugh. How do you break something that isn’t even TOGETHER? Pseudo-BREAKUP?
Fuck with the WHAT IFS.
